I Not Stupid

Hehe…this post has nothing to do with the 2002 Singaporean movie of the same title. It just that I don’t know what title to put, so I settle with this one.

Okay, I was supposed to join the thousands of hopeful nationwide to sit for one ujian bertulis last Saturday, but I didn’t. Yes, it is the preliminary screening test for the position of Pegawai Tadbir & Diplomatik that I am talking about.

When I got the notification from SPA, I was pretty eager to sit for it. It was my second call. I turned down the first because the timing is wrong. It coincided with the wedding of a dear friend. There will be another test, but there won’t be another wedding for my friend. So, I deliberately missed it.

After 6 months of waiting, another opportunity arrived. I was happy. Hubby was very supportive. Friends were happy for me too. I know, I know….it was only a test, nothing to brag about. There are two more interviews to go before you secured the job, not to mention training lagi. But passing this test would certainly bring me one step closer to serve in public sector.

At the last minute, I had a sudden change of heart. The eagerness, the thrilled feeling was all gone. I no longer looked forward for the test. In fact, I was dead sure that I wouldn’t be attending it. * sigh * What was wrong with me?? Finally, I got a second chance yet I blew it ??!

Some might say, it was such a waste; while others might say it was stupid of me. But, I have my own reason. I am perfectly aware that this job (IF I get it) will definitely need me to re-locate. (Hmm…funny, I didn’t think of that when I applied for it. ) The closest is probably Putrajaya. I don’t want to think about the farthest…*smile *

Re-location is what bothers me the most. Sure, I can bring along the whole family to the new place. Hubby is ok with it; while daughter is still too young to voice out her opinion. She’ll go wherever her parents go. * smile*

My real concern is my elderly mom. I don’t think she is willing to re-locate, no matter what. Hehe…I won’t even dream to pop her the question. I can imagine the fore-coming lecture, plus all the emotion. That is too much to bear * wink *.

Leaving mom behind is definitely out of the question. As a child, taking care of our elderly parents is our responsibility. If we have siblings, then we can share the responsibility. But being an only child, I am all she got to look after her since my dad passed away 14 years ago. Don’t get me wrong ya, I don’t have any complain about this responsibility nor do I see it as a burden.

I am only saying that it is why I am reluctant to apply for jobs that involve a great possibility of re-locating. That is also why I don’t apply for the on-going KPLI intake. If there is a guarantee that I’ll get to teach in school in KK area, I’ll be the first to apply for KPLI. Hahaha…I know, that will never happen.

So, why should I bother to go through all the trouble only to turn it down in the end? It will be better to make way for those who deserve it and want it. * smile* I have no regrets over the chances I missed.

Wah, it turn-out to be quite a lengthy post pulak. Hope it didn’t bore you. :)


Mia.. sedih pulak sia baca ur post ni. If you being the only child, me being the only daughter beside my bro, yeah.. sia paham perasaan ko tu...

PTD tu mmg no hope tu... waste of time saja pigi sit tu exam. Heheheh...

Yes, I agree with you, family is more important than career.

i once heard this from somebody but i forgot who, it goes something like this, " you are the master of your destiny"

cheers :D

By the way, how did you know that you need to relocate once you get the job?

Just ~ hehe...lebih kurang sj bah keadaan kita kan...

Jess ~ yup, family come first.

GregChai ~ Indeed, we are the master of our destiny. :)

Anonymous ~ New staffs are normally based in Putrajaya..sort of like,training on the job. However, there is possibility to be transferred back to our hometown, but the question is-When?

New staff mmg kena hantar pi Putrajaya ka? Br sy tau. Sy pun nda pi exam ni..wrong timing. Ngam2 ada urusan peribadi, nxt time lah pi if kena panggil lg lah...

Follow your heart. The most important thing is you are happy. Never let anyone else determine your life :)

Adora ~ Utk jwtn PTD ni, gitu la kunun. Ni 1st time ko kana pggil ka? jgn susah, nti dia pngl lg tu.

Nessa ~ Tq for the advice. :)